Man..I hate coming up with titles for blogs...especially something short like this...
Anyways...so I bumped into a friend at the library yesterday, and I just though "man, I must not have changed very much if some guy I haven't seen since like grade 4 can still recognize me"
That is all
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Post Passion...
My reaction so far to everyone's question to "how's passion" has been "it was awesome, learned...or more like relearned alot of things"...but, what does that really mean? I've been thinking and rethinking what it all meant, how it all came together, and what I can do. I don't think it is something I have fathomed, nor is it something I can really put in writing within one post. My guess is that it can probably be more reflected by the changes over time..hopefully.
Ever since I've entered university, saying my spiritual life is like a roller coaster on rocky tracks is an understatement. I've been trying to hide it, trying to say to myself "it'll improve", but each time, I find myself saying "I'll get to it tomorrow". What it boils down to, I think is the fact that I no longer associate myself with a group where I belonged to that helped me with my spiritual walk. Throughout my days at MGC, and later the reason why I ultimately had to leave, was that I didn't feel I was growing. In my heart I still believed there was a reason God placed me in that church, and it was tough, very tough, to really pray to see where God was leading me to, and whether or not a change was necessary. With that said, I always had an avenue outside of the church itself where I was growing. Whether it was through TC or other things like online sermons/studies, I was striving to build a relationship with Him... But as I entered university, that flame that I had seemed to have been extinguished. I never really regained the passion to study his word (but then again, I never really regularly did "devos"). I slacked off in my prayer life, and when it comes down to it, most of the time, I was a walking hypocrite. Proclaiming to be a Christian, but other than believing that Jesus died on the cross for my sins and has redeemed me from death, I did nothing. I'm not saying faith along is not enough, in contrast, it is stated in the bible that all we need is faith as small as a mustard seen and nothing is impossible. - "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you" (Matt 17:20). Anyways, I was simply a "believer", and not someone who continued to pursue a relationship with Him. Like a snowball rolling down a hill, it just kept growing and gaining momentum.
When it came to PassionDC...when you asked me at the beginning, "why are you going?", I would not have been able to give you an honest answer. Do I know now? Yes and no. I know why I was called to go, but I am yearning to find out more. I want to dig deeper...I am no longer interested in just scratching the surface. At points during Passion, I felt like I caught of a glimpse of heaven. No longer are people worried about what others will feel about the way they're worshiping, but rather it was genuine worship. So often I realized that, even myself, I wonder what people might think about me, that I am no longer genuinely worshiping. Its definitely an atmosphere I can get used to :D. Everyone around was there for one and only one reason, God. There were times in the past, I guess it was more during high school prior to the roller coaster (not to say there wasn't any back then), I've felt alone, I felt like I was the only one. But seeing 3000 other college (or university) students there, it was a great reminder. Not only am I not alone, but I'm part of a bigger army, God's army.
I feel like I'm rambling here...another reason why I should really start journal-ing. It feels like there were lots of time where I've had my thinking time, or mediation time, and then when I get back to it, most of it is gone. I guess it's hard to really gather all your thoughts at times...but yeah...I guess more to come...
Ever since I've entered university, saying my spiritual life is like a roller coaster on rocky tracks is an understatement. I've been trying to hide it, trying to say to myself "it'll improve", but each time, I find myself saying "I'll get to it tomorrow". What it boils down to, I think is the fact that I no longer associate myself with a group where I belonged to that helped me with my spiritual walk. Throughout my days at MGC, and later the reason why I ultimately had to leave, was that I didn't feel I was growing. In my heart I still believed there was a reason God placed me in that church, and it was tough, very tough, to really pray to see where God was leading me to, and whether or not a change was necessary. With that said, I always had an avenue outside of the church itself where I was growing. Whether it was through TC or other things like online sermons/studies, I was striving to build a relationship with Him... But as I entered university, that flame that I had seemed to have been extinguished. I never really regained the passion to study his word (but then again, I never really regularly did "devos"). I slacked off in my prayer life, and when it comes down to it, most of the time, I was a walking hypocrite. Proclaiming to be a Christian, but other than believing that Jesus died on the cross for my sins and has redeemed me from death, I did nothing. I'm not saying faith along is not enough, in contrast, it is stated in the bible that all we need is faith as small as a mustard seen and nothing is impossible. - "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you" (Matt 17:20). Anyways, I was simply a "believer", and not someone who continued to pursue a relationship with Him. Like a snowball rolling down a hill, it just kept growing and gaining momentum.
When it came to PassionDC...when you asked me at the beginning, "why are you going?", I would not have been able to give you an honest answer. Do I know now? Yes and no. I know why I was called to go, but I am yearning to find out more. I want to dig deeper...I am no longer interested in just scratching the surface. At points during Passion, I felt like I caught of a glimpse of heaven. No longer are people worried about what others will feel about the way they're worshiping, but rather it was genuine worship. So often I realized that, even myself, I wonder what people might think about me, that I am no longer genuinely worshiping. Its definitely an atmosphere I can get used to :D. Everyone around was there for one and only one reason, God. There were times in the past, I guess it was more during high school prior to the roller coaster (not to say there wasn't any back then), I've felt alone, I felt like I was the only one. But seeing 3000 other college (or university) students there, it was a great reminder. Not only am I not alone, but I'm part of a bigger army, God's army.
I feel like I'm rambling here...another reason why I should really start journal-ing. It feels like there were lots of time where I've had my thinking time, or mediation time, and then when I get back to it, most of it is gone. I guess it's hard to really gather all your thoughts at times...but yeah...I guess more to come...
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
A journey renewed
I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what break yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
For greater things
Have yet to come
And greater things
Are still to be done
edited: not my fault the site I c+p from couldn't type! and funny how loey didn't catch it :D
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what break yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
For greater things
Have yet to come
And greater things
Are still to be done
edited: not my fault the site I c+p from couldn't type! and funny how loey didn't catch it :D
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Modernization of Religion?
Had an interesting conversation with a few friends over dinner last night that got me thinking a bit. As we all know, Christianity, or for the most part, all of the religions, has become more open/accepting over the years. But since I guess I'm most familiar with Christianity, I'll stick to that. There is alot of the "traditional vs. revolutional" discussion, ever since, forever. As secular culture evolves, it seems like the church follows suits. I guess most relevant example would be worship music - there are alot of debates for hymns vs. more modern worship music. While I will not take sides because it is not necessary for this discussion, but with this example, we can see that as the secular culture evolves, the culture at the church also evolves with it. While the "typical" argument would be that the church is simply providing people, mainly teenagers, something relevant and familiar to them, and thus does not discourage the congregation to come as they feel what they are doing is "old-school", but is that a religion evolving, or is that a religion modernizing itself to remain "relevant" to society. Are the true purpose of religion (or have the true purpose, or will it ever be) lost as the culture of the church continues to try to remain "relevant" to the secular society, and the continous attempt to appeal to the youth culture.
Probably sounded alot like a bunch of mumble jumble, but definitely something that got me thinking...
Probably sounded alot like a bunch of mumble jumble, but definitely something that got me thinking...
Saturday, February 09, 2008
0 for 4 in FTOPS
Haven't had much success this year yet...good thing I satellited into all of the events instead of buying in directly, would've been costly. Had my best showing tonight in the $216 6 max Limit event. Had Rizen (one of the best tournament players) to my left for like 4 levels so that really hurt, but I was able to get up to 2x the average stack for awhile before my hands decided to stop holding up against loose calling donkeys. Guys were calling 3 bets with hands like A2, Q10 and hitting...oh wells. Busted out right before the 3 hour mark and about 100 short of cashing. Taking the next few days off, and hopefully will get in a couple of events next weekend before the series is over.
And as for sickness, I feel like I'm almost back to full health...so thats definitely a good thing.
And as for sickness, I feel like I'm almost back to full health...so thats definitely a good thing.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
FTOPS VII
FTOPS = Full Tilt Online Poker Series
Basically a series of poker tournaments (20 in total) which spans 2 weeks. And like any other major poker sites, well fine, Poker Stars, Full Tilt Poker decides to give some money away to players to lure them back to play (and it works, because I have already generated $250 in rake for 'em in 3 days). So I just somehow decided to get sick these past few days, so I figred "meh, why not" and decided to dump some extra money in and satellite into a few tournaments.
So far, I've already qualified for 3 events, and hopefully more in the days to come. Just played in their first event, $216 No Limit Hold 'em, had around 5300 entrants and generated a prize pool of over $1 million, and first place getting about $180K. Unfortunately I just couldn't get a grip in this event at all. Probably only won like 2 pots in the entire hour and a half that I was in the tournament for. Raised with hands like 1010/JJ, and each time was called and flop put 2 overcards on board, or limped with small pocket pairs and came out empty each time. Last hand ended with blinds at 50/100, and I pushed all-in with AJo after a min-raise by the player to my immediate right, and one of the blinds just decided to wake up with QQ. Flopped a gut shot but somehow missed my 4 outer. Oh wells...next event it is.
Got a seat in tomorrow night's $535 HORSE event, as well as both the $216 Pot-Limit Hold 'em and $216 Limit Hold'em event on Friday. Won't be able to play any events after Friday with midterms and stuff the week after, but hopefully will satellite into the big $2500 2 day event and also $535 main event next weekend.
On another note, Mike MacDonald, aka "timex" won $933K Euro (around $1.4 million USD) this past week in EPT Dortmund...so sick..He's been running so hot this year its gross..
Basically a series of poker tournaments (20 in total) which spans 2 weeks. And like any other major poker sites, well fine, Poker Stars, Full Tilt Poker decides to give some money away to players to lure them back to play (and it works, because I have already generated $250 in rake for 'em in 3 days). So I just somehow decided to get sick these past few days, so I figred "meh, why not" and decided to dump some extra money in and satellite into a few tournaments.
So far, I've already qualified for 3 events, and hopefully more in the days to come. Just played in their first event, $216 No Limit Hold 'em, had around 5300 entrants and generated a prize pool of over $1 million, and first place getting about $180K. Unfortunately I just couldn't get a grip in this event at all. Probably only won like 2 pots in the entire hour and a half that I was in the tournament for. Raised with hands like 1010/JJ, and each time was called and flop put 2 overcards on board, or limped with small pocket pairs and came out empty each time. Last hand ended with blinds at 50/100, and I pushed all-in with AJo after a min-raise by the player to my immediate right, and one of the blinds just decided to wake up with QQ. Flopped a gut shot but somehow missed my 4 outer. Oh wells...next event it is.
Got a seat in tomorrow night's $535 HORSE event, as well as both the $216 Pot-Limit Hold 'em and $216 Limit Hold'em event on Friday. Won't be able to play any events after Friday with midterms and stuff the week after, but hopefully will satellite into the big $2500 2 day event and also $535 main event next weekend.
On another note, Mike MacDonald, aka "timex" won $933K Euro (around $1.4 million USD) this past week in EPT Dortmund...so sick..He's been running so hot this year its gross..
Monday, February 04, 2008
Giving credit to where credit's due
The NY Giants defence played a huge game from what I've read and saw. Yes, I was cheering for the Patroits, and I'm not afraid to admit it, but I'm also just a regular sports fan who enjoy a close, nail-biting, and exciting game over a blowout. I'll have to watch the game again as I missed half of it, but I don't regret that decision at all. Eli Manning played a great game, seemed to be very composed and in control, and the pass rushing defence of the Giants were simply too much. In any case, congrats to the Giants for winning Super Bowl 42, the 1972 Dolphins team members will probably get a good night sleep tonight.
As for the band wagon jumpers, please don't even start...you do not become a fan of a team just because they knocked off a huge favourite in the biggest game of the year..
As for the band wagon jumpers, please don't even start...you do not become a fan of a team just because they knocked off a huge favourite in the biggest game of the year..
Super Bowl Props Results
I'm sure I went 0-for with the props...oh wells. Just glad that I took the line early even though it didn't make a difference, but too bad I was such a girl and middled the game...
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Super Bowl XLII Props
Something just for fun
Coinflip: Heads
Winning the coin toss: New England Patroits
Team to receive opening kickoff: New England Patroits
First play from scrimmage: Pass
First scoring play: Touchdown
Highest Scoring Quarter: 2nd
Highest Scoring Half: 1st
First Coaches Challenge: New York Giants
Result of Challenge: Play stands
Total points in the first half: 41
Total points in the game: 75
Coinflip: Heads
Winning the coin toss: New England Patroits
Team to receive opening kickoff: New England Patroits
First play from scrimmage: Pass
First scoring play: Touchdown
Highest Scoring Quarter: 2nd
Highest Scoring Half: 1st
First Coaches Challenge: New York Giants
Result of Challenge: Play stands
Total points in the first half: 41
Total points in the game: 75
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Argh!
This sucks! After fixing my sleeping patterns this week, my stupid throat just has to start acting up and itch tonight, and now I can't sleep!
Not being able to sleep, it got me thinking, and thus started a bit of link-stalking. What do people even blog about now-a-days anyways? Is it just a diary? If its a diary, then why does some people not write everything down? I don't know, I'll probably end up going in circles anyways, since I'm not really organizing my thoughts and just writing them down. So if a blog is not a diary by its traditional definition, how would you explain what a blog is to someone who have been on Mars for the past decade? Something/someplace/an avenue in which a person uses to express their thoughts and opinions? But blogs aren't only about thoughts and opinions, some people keep others updated about their life via blogs (like mine to a certain degree). How would you define a "blog"?
Speaking of blogs, is it a fad like Friendster (and potentially Facebook)? Or is it here to stay? I've found many old blogs where the writer neglect the blog, or has neglected the blogs for months, if not a year or more. Sometimes a user goes back to it periodically, or will never go back, or one day just decide to "revive" his/her blog. I know I have done it, and many others have done so. Is "blogging" something that have phases as well?
Not being able to sleep, it got me thinking, and thus started a bit of link-stalking. What do people even blog about now-a-days anyways? Is it just a diary? If its a diary, then why does some people not write everything down? I don't know, I'll probably end up going in circles anyways, since I'm not really organizing my thoughts and just writing them down. So if a blog is not a diary by its traditional definition, how would you explain what a blog is to someone who have been on Mars for the past decade? Something/someplace/an avenue in which a person uses to express their thoughts and opinions? But blogs aren't only about thoughts and opinions, some people keep others updated about their life via blogs (like mine to a certain degree). How would you define a "blog"?
Speaking of blogs, is it a fad like Friendster (and potentially Facebook)? Or is it here to stay? I've found many old blogs where the writer neglect the blog, or has neglected the blogs for months, if not a year or more. Sometimes a user goes back to it periodically, or will never go back, or one day just decide to "revive" his/her blog. I know I have done it, and many others have done so. Is "blogging" something that have phases as well?
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