I couldn't have worded this better myself, so I have just copy + pasted the entire blog from Jeffoo, so read it and you'll know how i feel.

"So I overreacted.

I'm sorry.

I did not mean to appear like an insensitive prick.

Though I was indeed trying to get work done.

And I had a lot on my plate.

Yeah okay, I will get it done, but work with me here, by helping me, we can acheive things, but you chose to perhaps follow this little trend.

I'm not saying that everyone's just doing things because other people are doing it.

But this is just how this world works, doesn't it?

The media makes things much bigger than they seem.

I'm not saying that Cecilia's situation was not tragic.

My deepest sympathies goes out to those close to her and those who know her and those who were affected by this.

Now, I went out for dinner.

Before, everything was as usual.

I came back, opened up yahoo, saw the news article about how they found the "remains".

Made me sick to my stomach.

Shocked at what humans are capable of doing.

Now what's this whole "put an X to your name in memory"?

Then what's this whole "put C instead of X because X means anti-semetic?"

It can mean whatever people want it to mean. A sign of respect, a sign of discrimination, whatever. You don't go telling people to do things. People can be sympathizing on their own.

Now suddenly this whole thing becomes a whole game to them. A whole freaking joke to them. Turned this whole thing into a game of "my letter has more meaning than your letter".

Oh boo hoo, get a hobby, you don't turn a tragedy into a joke.

"We don't need X or C! Come join WP! It stands for 'we're prayin''"

Is this a game for you? Are we making teams now?

I really hope the starters of X, C, and WP, and any other letters out there that haven't reached this side of earth yet didn't have the intention of going "Whoohoo, I created a trend!"

"Where's your respect?"

Where's your sincerity?

Is it.. necessary to become angry with one when they don't join your silly little clan?

Now firstly, that's where they've got it wrong. It's not a freaking clan. Got it? Your thoughts and attitudes towards this matter is your own, your own thoughts, your own feelings. NOT ANYBODY ELSE'S, only yours. What, you think people will applaud you if you conform to their needs? Well, they actually do. That's what this world comes to. But whatever, we're just a bunch of goonies running around, being slave to groups that seperate people from people.

Secondly, who are you trying to impress with your little badge of belonging? Oh wait, everyone. They're so amused by the fact that you're a SOMEBODY.

But I do applaud those who are sincerely showing Cecilia and family their condolences.

World is indeed sick.

And it's also pathetic.

Like it says in some blogs I've seen tonight...

Come, Lord Jesus, Come."

Start of my own stuff:
I mean what does it matter if its X, C, or whatever letter you choose to have it. Are you truely doing this to have people see your name and say "wow, this person has heart", or are you doing it to truely remember the loss of an innocent life. I'm not trying to say that everyone who has the C or the X or the WP or whatever is like that. I know there are people out there who truely puts the letter infront of their names to truely mark it as a reminder to them of what happened, and I admitt, I was one of those who had a letter in front of my name. What annoyed me was the people fighting over what to use and what not to use or just forcing people to put it in their name, simply for the sake of joining the rest of the pack. People can show their respect and sympathy in their own way, why must you force your standards onto others? Anyways, Jeff said it better than I did, so yeah, he summarize how I felt, well, he was slightly more upset than I was, but he pretty much said what I wanted to say...

Wow...curling is fun. Well, I knew it was gonna be fun, but never knew it would be this fun. Today I went curling with my fellowship, and like this is not the first time curling for me, probably second maybe third (i don't remember), so yeah, I knew the basics n stuff, which was a good head start for me cuz only 2 or 3 of the ppl from my fellowship have tried curling before. so anyways. when we got there, they kinda did some clinic since most of them were new at curling, which was kinda good too cuz i needed some "retuning" of my skills, if i had any to begin with. so we started actual games, and those "professionals" on tv make it seem so easy, like their draws are like exactly where they want it and stuff, while ours are like miles apart. regardless, we got a fun game going, though my team lost, it was still fun, everyone won cuz everyone had fun.

so the curling club prepared some dinner for us cuz it was part of the "package". before dinner, they had some riddle game where each table gets like a set to see who gets the most right and stuff. my table did ok, we got 4 wrongs, but oh wellz. dinner was not the best, but i expected it to be like that, its mass cooking, and its a curling club, so i didn't really expect a fancy dinner, just pizza and stuff. and then they had this 50/50 draw thing, and my table chipped in $8, and none of us won, which was a bummer. and then they had this table prize draw, and like 10 prizes in all, and none of us from our table won either, so that was kinda boring sitting there watching ppl collect their prizes, but oh well. curling is fun...itz alot more fun playing, but i enjoy watching it too...it sometimes make me wonder if i can be as good as those guys on tv....hmmmmm....


h m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m m . . . . . . . . . . . . n o

ImageStation

Ok....for those of you who've been "bugging" me about this image station thing *cough MEL, ERNIE cough*

My name is "wesleyw"...feel free to add more pics to it =)
http://www.imagestation.com/member/index.html?name=wesleyw&c=201 (The link)

Now I must go back to my depressed state where I shelther myself from the rest of the world

=(

This has been a horrible week. I don't know if its just me or if its all of you, but I just don't seem to want to be at school. Yeah. I know I'm never in my "school mood", but this week its like different. Before I can still force myself to somehow listen, take notes, etc etc...but this week its been like just horrible. I have trouble just pretending to be listening, which isn't so hard usually cuz I end up day-dreaming. Anyways, I don't even know what point I'm trying to make right now, only thing I know is that I'm glad tomorrow is Friday. *sigh* I don't think its the lack of sleep either, considering I've been getting 7-8 hours nightly the past few days...

Btw, for those who has been asking me to TC pics *ahem* I will upload 'em all onto ImageStation slowly. I've already done the ones from COP, but you know 500 is a pretty high number of pictures to upload, so please be patience with me =)

My teeth hurts

Just pulled all four of my wisdom teeth out today. I guess I'm not as wise as I once was right? RIGHT TEAM WEST?!?!?! And to everyone who thought I was in grade 12, I'm only in grade 11!!!

Anyways, can't talk, its still bleeding, don't know what to do rest of tonight *sigh*

My whole experience

I am totally speechless, I don't really know what to say or tell. I guess reflecting back on the past 4 months of worship practices, planning meetings, I have just so many things to be thankful for. Yet I still have so many regrets, the things I could've done, or should've done, and that is the part of me that is speaking right now.

I mean it was a honour to serve God at TC, but what I look back at it, did I really give it my all? Thinking back, I would have to say no, I didn't. There is so much things that people told me, shared with me, and just taught me prior to leading the worship team, from focus alot more on the prayer aspect, and worry less about the whole idea of mad practice. All these advice came from people who have done worship before, yet I have decided not to listen, not to stand firm during practices and just go with the flow. Experience means alot, yet I chose to do it my way, not entrusting the whole thing in His hand. Until the days of TC, my pride has gotten the better of me, believing that we can pull this out. It was so wrong of me to even think about that. All things is possible through Him, and nothing is possible without Him. How did I even begin to think that we can do it on our own? How could I have let this happen? Having opportunities infront of me to just truely share and pray together, and I choose to be soft-hearted and go with the flow. Especially with the entire team being new at this, the advices from past TC Worship leaders should be followed, and yet I have chosen to turn my back on them and go down my own path. Sorry God, I let You down. There is no excuses for any of this, I guess all I can do is let this be a life lesson to truely rely on God, no matter what we do. I have learned to trust You completely through this experience.
I guess Tim put it perfectly. "Go and enjoy this experience. Don't let this be like be all and end all. If it goes well, then give all praise to God, but if it doesn't go well, let it be a lesson and learn from it" (para-phrased)

Now the unhappy part is outta here, I guess I can really and truely give praise to God for what He has done this week. Yeah, things went wrong, sometimes I was flat (well...not only sometimes, most of the time), or we didn't come in at the right spot, whatever, but I really think that is not the point. I guess its not about what could have been better, but more like we did what God asked us to do and thats the best thing there is right? Mistakes were made, lessons are learned, but I think God truely used us and mold us this past 4 months. Our first "team meeting" occured at Jeff's house, where too much pasta was made, and Josh and his famous quote "Did your birds come in this colour or did you dye them that way". We know its an honest question Josh, and yes, it was funny, but hey man, this type of thing happens to everyone once in awhile, whats SO WORSE about it? (sorry rec =þ) From that day where I almost set Jeff's house on fire, pooling in his rec room, or trying to play street-fighter with the DDR pad, something inside me felt that our team was truely in God's master plan. At first, for those who doesn't know, Cindy and I was suppose to be leading the senior team (as in the other team: Melissa, Joyce, RenMin, Troy, Darren, Ernest), but it was switched for some unknown reason. Anyways, it was just amazing to see how God just molded our team to what we are now. We might (ARE) not be the perfect team with the perfect singers, or the perfect guitarist, but God used our talents to its fullest. He used the limited talents I have as a singer to sing praises to Him. He used Jeff's talent of singing and playing at the same time to its fullest. The list goes on and on for the entire team. He truely anonited each one of us on the team to our places, truely used us for his purposes. Throughout the four months, God has not only used us, He also broke us down and build us back up. Through-out these four months, He used each one of us to truely minister to one another, being an example to one another, and just having someone beside us who can truely walk with us in our spiritual walk. Words cannot justify in how thankful I am to God for how much He provided for us. Not only each other, but also Sam. Sam (THE Sam Wong) has helped as so much in regards to what worship really is. He brought our team together both musically and spiritually. His guidance throughout the four monthes cannot be replaced and will not be forgotten. His dedication to our team, the countless hours he spent with us youngins could've been spent else where, but his faithfulness to God's service brought him here, and he did it from his heart, and for that I am truely in awe. Sam has set an example for me to how to worship, but also as an example of a humble servant who does not take credit for what he does, but rather he gives all the glory to God.

Wow, this has been a long blog, and I'm not even done. This is meant to be kind of a personal note to God too, so basically you are reading into my heart through this blog, how I truely feel (and felt). I will blog more later. And yes, some parts seems like they weren't tied together very well, that is because my mind was just jumping so fast from place to place. I will finish later.

1 week!

wow!!! 1 week until TC!!! today's practice was amazing...i think our team has like grew so much musically and spiritually and whatever other words that ends of "ally". i still can't believe its 1 week and its TC...