The last couple of nights, I've gone to bed, with my mind racing at like 100 miles per hour. Its those times where I'm just lying on my bed, and things just running through my mind. Its not anything in particular, but just things, alot of things, running through my head at the same time. And it just feels like I haven't had much down time this term. It is a big convenience to have a car here in Waterloo this term, it saves alot of time from waiting for the bus, and also makes it alot easier to go grocery shopping and what not. However, it also feels like I'm constantly on the go. I no longer have those time to myself, where I spend time with God, talking to him, and I guess in a way it was like prayer. Last year, I had to wait for the bus, and the trip to school from the bus took 15-20 minutes. It was those times when I felt I really was able to spend time alone and really become "deep in tought". I would be listening to my music, and just tune myself out from the world. I've never really been a person that does my daily devos. I feel it is very forced when I try to do it daily. I am more of a person who enjoys listening to sermons, and looking up passages that I come across, etc. I have never been a person who sits in front of a desk and follows a devo track or something. I don't know, I have done it before, but I found myself learning more the way I do it now, versus the past where I have to force myself to do it. But this year, without those times, I find myself constantly on the move, rarely having that "alone" time. I find that there are periods of time where I stop growing spiritually. It feels more like I'm on a standstill, not moving forward. I need to find a way to go back to what I did, at least replicate what I did.
Yes, I know, this post probably didn't make much sense, but its my blog, what can you do about it?! =รพ
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
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2 comments:
made plenty sense bro. it's not an uncommon struggle in our generation, I hope you will be enabled to discern and look for creative ways to make yourself available to Him in a more direct way. Totally hear you on not receiving much from the "daily" forced devotional model.
guess i havent been here in awhile, but i am procrastinating from writing my essay, plus i do have stuff to say on this topic. so why not!
s'all about balancing. i recently learnt this from my pastor back at scac while at fall retreat. like.. he talked about balance in life. not just fitting in spiritual life. cus in order to fit in spiritual life where its not forcing ourselves but rather we enjoy it and will be able to absorb more, we gotta balance our daily life. like... imagine the amount of time you're awake. how much of it do you spend on academics? social life? personal interests things? spiritual life? for a good portion of christians, when the academics/work life increases, its usually the spiritual life that gets the cut. not the social life or personal life. like, you'll still plan times to do personal things and to go out with friends and such. then devos will be the thing that gets cut. interestingly, but not shocking, the next thing that gets the cut is family life. but as outta town, guess that isnt too applicable... sorta.
now you mentioned how daily devos isnt something you do. well, its not something i do either.
so here's more to the balancing part. when you're planning to balance your day, you gotta add in energy as well as time. like, you can be like 'oh.. i'll just cut out sleeping time' but then in reality, you dont have the energy. for me, energy = concentration. gotta schedule in rest time too. once everything is balanced, then you'll have the energy and have set aside time for spiritual things. not on a daily level, but rather i guess whenever you feel like you're up for learning something. but you gotta make that time to want to learn something. schedule some time to stop being so busy. God is a your friend too. make time for Him! haha.. as cliche as that sounds, you know its true. cus usually, why the daily devo doesnt work is cus we leave it for the end of the day. but thats when we're tired.
also, devos can come in many forms. with all this studying going on, do students really wanna read more? not really. you know how ppl waste time on youtube? check out www.godtube.com if you havent already. maybe you'll learn something. maybe you wont. but if you want to learn something, you will.
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